Admit One Only

I have been talking about this for years now. Taking myself on a date to the movies...

'I love me. I think I'm grand. When I go to the movies I hold my hand'
Fine in theory. The majority of people were aghast when I admitted I had never been to the cinema by myself. People do it all the time apparently.

Not in Couple-da they don't. I think I picked the following wrong criteria for a successful first solo screening...
A. The country. Swarming with couples. Gay, Straight, Attractive, Bet-down, Young, Old.

The cinema is the canadian mecca for the sickeningly in-love.

B. The night. Tight-arse Tuesdays where all tickets are half-price means the place was packed.
As I muttered pink to ears 'Just one' please and was asked to repeat it louder for the couples at the back of the queue who didn't quite hear me I felt the temptation to take out my phone and pretend to ring 'my friend' who was 'waiting' upstairs. But I resisted. If I was doing this, I was doing it all the way. I wanted an authentic experience. I got it.

The ticket guy gave me a pitying smile and stopped to look me dead in the eye 'Enjoy your movie' he announced solemnly.

There was a strong undertone of 'everything's going to be ok'.
I walked off without my ticket which caused a stir of activity 'Mam, excuse me, Mam you forgot your ticket'. More pity laced glances and I was on the escalator. I was lied to, there was not another sinner there by themselves. The only word I have is 'morto'. The use of the word 'mam' was like a blow to the kidneys.

The theatre was already packed, because unsurprisingly I was late. Yes I can confirm it is actually possible to be late for a date with yourself. So I wandered around in my bright white coat conspicuously trying to find a good spot. Usually I stand discussing it for a while with my cinema buddy but this time it was all me. A tough decision. I decided to sit on the side section. Directly under a light. It served as a spotlight highlighting the fact that...'that girl is at the cinema by herself'. Paranoid much...

Then came the third hurdle...

C. The movie of choice

Blue Valentine.
A lovely little story about a failed relationship and broken hearts and the ultimate message of we're all screwed and love does not conquer all. It just makes life harder. Miserable altogether.

It was a great movie but I found it wierd laughing out loud with noone beside me so for once in my life I was relatively quiet. But it did leave me with an enormous sense of disillusionment and blue sentiments. A feel-good rom com this most certainly is not.

Then there were a few kind of  racy scenes. Some pretty gritty sex-ploits that left me glad I wasn't sitting awkwardly with a relative in the seat next to me but also feeling a little pervy sitting there watching in the dark on my todd. You can't win.

The film was good but I have to say...going to the cinema by yourself is dirt.