littlemissfoxblog: PaddyWhackery

As P-day approaches, it sets my mind wandering back to home. Could you actually beat Dublin on a sunny Paddy's day. That fresh sunny cold. Probably the first day of the year you have dared go short sleeved. But you brave it anyway because sure it's Paddy's day and if that's not an excuse to be freezing for the sake of looking nice then I don't know what is! Plus if you bring a coat you are in the 95 percentile that it won't make it home with you.

If anything I would go as far as trying to avoid even a handbag. Keep your belongings minimal and store in pockets and reliable friends. Chances are you can kiss the majority of your things goodbye.

But having no bag holds it's own challenges if you are trying to carry secret booze around.... where do you stash the six pack....

A further quandary regularly encountered is sunglasses. You desperately want to bring them along for the walk, the beer garden, the photos, the practical aspect of shading your eyes and lest we forget the coolio factor. BUT if you like your glasses, you will lose them. And that's a fact, Paddy's day revelries and sunnies are not a good match.

The big day arrives- you wake up. You're feeling excited and it's because you know you are going have a long, and fun day! Almost nervous because it's open to anything- you have a rough plan but who knows. So many people to meet or randomly meet and so many places to try and be.

This is where the mammy's come in...a massive, full frontal fry up with everything from pudding to extra toast because this could be it, the one and only meal for the day. Many a mighty man has been saved by taking this small step early in the game.

Hydrated, fed and full of energy...your phone starts to ring. The Paddy's day telephonic dance has begun. It should be mentioned here that now is the time to ensure your phone batt is at full capacity. Many a well-laid plan have fallen to the wayside as a result of a dead phone on this important social event. So charge that bad boy up.

I think it would be a prudent move to prescript all your texts into templates, that way you only have to select name and send. It's all the same anyway...
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What's your plans?
Who's going?
Where you heading?
Where are ye at now?
Are you getting booze for later?
Any parties?
What time you going?
Who you with?
Are you at the bar?
Will you order 4 pints?
'x' just got thrown out.
I'm queuing outside...
Where are you now?
I can't find ya?
Gone for food.
Can't hear ya, text me!
Do you have drink for after?
Can i bring a few mates?
mash mashksfgdsngdksgdslkgsdg..... Sorry sat on my phone, where u?
ashgsahflasifgslfd- sorry im mouldy drunk and no longer monitoring my mobile!

Morning...hows the head?
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If the sun is shining the best move you could make is walk up the canal into town,

If you are well versed in Shenanigans you will have had the forethought to pack a few bottles of beer from the fridge at home for the walk in. This is the perfect opportunity to crack them open. But don't make a school boy error and forget the bottle opener. Dentists experience a major growth in sales from March 18th onwards...teeth are not for bottle tops.......

You may even feel a little overwhelmed by how pleasant Dub can be, day off work, sunshine, gang of friends, cold beer, family of swans...that's OK. Embrace it, take a seat on the grassy bank and watch one of your bowsie mates taunt and rile up a swan.