It's a Sheep's Life

Here at last, my first Canadian bout of illness.

Nearly the end of January and I thought maybe I was going to make it through the winter sniffle-free. All my bragging about not needing a warmer coat was perhaps a little pre-emptive.

So as any germ-riddled patient does, I turned to the Internet for some symptom validation. If the Internet says it then it's true... Let's explore this further....
I actually have a few options to choose from. A bit like online shopping. I can browse, try on for size and then decide which ailment suits me best.


I was informed yesterday morning as I was clambering around the house getting ready for work that my newly acquired cough sounded like a sheep!


That's OK. I've been called worse.
The sheep's bark was funny until it started to hurt and my muscles started to seize and my head starting to swim and I started to feel very sorry for myself sometime around yesterday afternoon.

I know how she feels.......








I am aware of some mild Psychological dysfunction (as per medical symptom chart right) but alas I do believe this was a pre-existing condition and gastric issues are not of concern so I can safely report  Swine Flu is out ruled.

My research into Swine Flu led me to discover some photo documentation of what happens if it's left undiagnosed..... This is Frank. He waited too long to get some lemsips into him and he is now 25% away from full swine status.








So what else is there...the common winter cold maybe. A bit more boring, but definitely the preferred option.

 I dunno, I definitely have a headache, but I wouldn't say I have runny nose per say. Maybe more like gently jogging and my sore throat is more like a a sore plural cavity.

Red, itchy sore eyes...check
Buzzing, sore ears
Itchy sore throat- AKA sheep's cough
Throbbing sinuses
Unhappy expression


http://www.flufacts.com/know/symptoms.jsp


The common symptoms of the flu include:

• Fever (100º F or greater)
• Headache
• Muscle aches
• Chills
• Extreme tiredness
• Cough
• Runny nose (more common in children than adults)

If you have one or more of these symptoms, it could be the flu.

Bingo. Right it's official.. I have the flu. Great, a few days in my pjs lots of tea, do some reading, oranges....only problem.

As per every single period of time where I have been unwell it has been over the course of either a weekend or a holiday. It's just unfair. So here I am Friday night suffering through what most people get to do on a Tuesday, when they should be in work but get to catch up on day time TV - my second hand eyes are too stingy to even watch the stupid TV. Being sick is crap enough but missing the whole weekend is just plan shite!!


Let's not forget the infamous trip to France where 4 hours before we were due to leave for the airport this happened......

Sorry Ryanair!

Admit One Only

I have been talking about this for years now. Taking myself on a date to the movies...

'I love me. I think I'm grand. When I go to the movies I hold my hand'
Fine in theory. The majority of people were aghast when I admitted I had never been to the cinema by myself. People do it all the time apparently.

Not in Couple-da they don't. I think I picked the following wrong criteria for a successful first solo screening...
A. The country. Swarming with couples. Gay, Straight, Attractive, Bet-down, Young, Old.

The cinema is the canadian mecca for the sickeningly in-love.

B. The night. Tight-arse Tuesdays where all tickets are half-price means the place was packed.
As I muttered pink to ears 'Just one' please and was asked to repeat it louder for the couples at the back of the queue who didn't quite hear me I felt the temptation to take out my phone and pretend to ring 'my friend' who was 'waiting' upstairs. But I resisted. If I was doing this, I was doing it all the way. I wanted an authentic experience. I got it.

The ticket guy gave me a pitying smile and stopped to look me dead in the eye 'Enjoy your movie' he announced solemnly.

There was a strong undertone of 'everything's going to be ok'.
I walked off without my ticket which caused a stir of activity 'Mam, excuse me, Mam you forgot your ticket'. More pity laced glances and I was on the escalator. I was lied to, there was not another sinner there by themselves. The only word I have is 'morto'. The use of the word 'mam' was like a blow to the kidneys.

The theatre was already packed, because unsurprisingly I was late. Yes I can confirm it is actually possible to be late for a date with yourself. So I wandered around in my bright white coat conspicuously trying to find a good spot. Usually I stand discussing it for a while with my cinema buddy but this time it was all me. A tough decision. I decided to sit on the side section. Directly under a light. It served as a spotlight highlighting the fact that...'that girl is at the cinema by herself'. Paranoid much...

Then came the third hurdle...

C. The movie of choice

Blue Valentine.
A lovely little story about a failed relationship and broken hearts and the ultimate message of we're all screwed and love does not conquer all. It just makes life harder. Miserable altogether.

It was a great movie but I found it wierd laughing out loud with noone beside me so for once in my life I was relatively quiet. But it did leave me with an enormous sense of disillusionment and blue sentiments. A feel-good rom com this most certainly is not.

Then there were a few kind of  racy scenes. Some pretty gritty sex-ploits that left me glad I wasn't sitting awkwardly with a relative in the seat next to me but also feeling a little pervy sitting there watching in the dark on my todd. You can't win.

The film was good but I have to say...going to the cinema by yourself is dirt.

The girl who cried 'squall'

	Sunday EveningEvening: 6:00 PM - 11:59 PM	Sunday OvernightOvernight: 12:00 AM - 5:59 AM	Monday MorningMorning: 6:00 AM - 11:59 AM
	Cloudy periods	Cloudy periods	Variable cloudiness
Temp.	-15°C	-18°C	-17°C
		-	-

So I know I've been bragging that the cold isn't that bad. My H&M coat has stood me well. Still wearing ballet pumps and pink plimsoll's in the snow.
But the era of survival is perhaps coming to an end. I'm not sure if penney's foot wear is designed to handle the snow 'squall' that is en route to Toronto this evening.

The actual temp, not 'feels like wind chill', is due to drop to minus twenty overnight.

Good Lord what will become of us.

The icicles on the front porch nearly reach the ground. They would pierce straight through you if they fell , the perfect murder weapon as my new next door neighbour worryingly pointed out. Just melt it and all evidence destroyed. Who knew lil Hanners was such a murderous maniac. Just cause Munster had an epic fail this morning, she is going on a killing spree.

Pray for us, if the cold doesn't get  us, she will!

The Break Up

The first time I saw you I was in such a daze afterwards that I missed my stop on the subway...TWICE!
I couldn't stop thinking about you...
Picturing us together, the good times we would share. Building our home together.

We were made for each other.

And yet here we are this evening starting to say our goodbyes.
I don't even find you that attractive anymore. Ever since you stopped cleaning up after yourself, you've gone to the dogs.

Some might even say you have a strange odour.....


And still it is so so sad. We had some really fantastic times together. You were my first,  flying solo I mean. Obviously I'd done it with others before but you really were special.

You made me feel safe and warm and happy but all good things come to end so here we are.
I'm trying to decide which stuff is mine and which stuff is yours.
Was the kettle here when I moved in?? Did I buy that lamp?

Should I leave the couch? It looks so good next to your pale white walls.
My red cushion covers do your wooden floors proud.

I'm going to miss you champ.
I'll find others but none with have such a great view, weird taps, terrifying balcony, massive oven, incredibly quick freezing ice box, streaming sunlight first thing in the morning, dead centre spot in town, A garbage disposal chute that smells like strawberries, short but lovely and deep bath, best friend concierges, perfect bed, cooking light, a fire alarm you can silence by pressing a button (doesn't always work but still no flapping of teatowels to get rid of the smoke), a pet spa (if i had a pet!), guest suites (if i had any guests willing to pay!), brand new pool table, 12 person cinema, pool, gym, BBQ terrace, Sauna, Steam room, Jacuzzi, reading room, Party Room, sun bathing deck with loungers, a view of the lake from 28 storeys, an on site massage room....

eemmmmmmmm

could somebody please remind me why I am moving out again?

Goodbye lovely apartment, it's been a blast.

As soundtrack to our breaking up and packing up I am delighted to have discovered this wonderful radio site....
http://www.stereomood.com

mmm what mood shall i listen to?

Melancholy, I'll take it.  Bye Bye Carlton St

ringing in 2011

Always one for a house party on New Years we managed to wrangle an invite to what is now proving to be 'the house party district'.
Following a pretty major session a few weeks back in a 7 bed house on the same road we returned to the path less travelled and went for the odd-numbers side this time around.

As is the want of recent immigrants we suddenly are very proud and very 'into' our culture. Bit of set dancing and a jig in the sitting room?

'Sure why not, We're Irish for god's sake!'
In the immortal words of Christy M...' Sure why wouldn't ya fur Jaysus Sake...Climb a mountain or jump in a lake..get up!'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCd16mQO32M

Unfortunately having the passport does not a skilled ceili dancer make. But when you're four sheets to the wind you dig deep into your cultural roots, summon the ghosts of the ancestral past...and ta da!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5Mc03_rlWo

You are performing River dance and lining people up for..'Insteach, Do, Tri...Amach Do, Tri' line dancing. Bet we looked amazing.. :)

The Irish love fest did not stop there however.
Now it saddens me greatly to say this...but Bobbi Love, in your absence I have found a replacement for our party piece duet.
 It wasn't the same but then again it wouldn't have a proper house party without everybody's favourite party performance so I'm sorry for cheating on you but it had to be done....

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2ZVKhL92bc

2011 is the year of the Rabbit but lucky enough there were no Rabbits on site that night.
Well...for one thing there was a wolf roaming the premises. Not a patch on our interview with the wolf back in the Quebec woods but certainly a distant relative.
He was a really lovely wolf, very friendly and full of smiles but I don't know if he could have kept his party manners with a wee bunny running around.

The wolf itself was not actually the greatest danger, it was in fact a man who appeared to believe he was a wolf also. Being the bastion of festive cheer that I am I brought along a whopper 1.5litre bottle of cheap bubbles for the count down. We grabbed cups and poured it out for all...until a very bearded man in the corner refused the offer of a glass.

He lifted the bottle to his lips and drank directly. Fair enough, I've done that myself many a time. The issue however was when I went to retrieve the bottle....
'ggrrrrrrrrrrrrr'
I am not joking...I mean I may have recently claimed that while in Borneo last year an Orang Utang approached me and asked for a cigarette (under duress I am happy to admit that is not entirely true) but this encounter is not a word of a lie. The man truly growled at me and I have witnesses this time.

Lest anyone thinks I am confused I will clarify now, there were separate 2 wolf elements at this party.
A real pet wolf ....

 and a wolf-man who communicated through growls.

But then this is Canada.
And not everyone enjoys the Eurovision as much as me....