Tuesday, June 14, 2011

High Egg-spectations

Eggs....

Bog no Crua? Hard or Soft?
I don't mind as long as they are cooked through. Nothing and I mean nothing turns my stomach more than the slimy white 'bluegh' on top of a neglected fried egg. Usually it's the weekend, maybe you were out the night before and all you want and need is a decent well-tended breakfast, not some albino chicken's mucus.


One of my most frightening eggperiences to date was the scene from one of the best drinking movies ever made...'Withnail and I'. One of the opening scenes shows a grotty London Cafe....

In the corner sits an old lady with a greasy fried egg sambo, when she sinks her gummy mouth into the slimy offering the yolk explodes and drips out the back of the bread. I can't describe how upset this scene makes me feels but it looks like this....



 And causes this reaction from me.......



There are so many tricks of the trade to cook a good egg. Fried...I'm on the fence. It's nigh on impossible to cook a lovely fried egg without lots of calories. Spray oil guarantees 'Bluegh' goo around the yoke. The egg just can't cook to satisfactory solidity levels without hot oil being spooned over it, so I usually opt for something less terrifying and a bit more low-cal.

Enter now the boiled egg debate... does ANYONE know the exact, proper and official line on how to boil an egg. Should the water be hot to start or boil from cold, if from cold how long do you count for, should the eggs be kept at room temperature or in the fridge and so on, it's egghausting

I'm sorry but the disparaging eggpression of 'She can't boil an egg...' is a bit harsh, considering the majority of people are actually very unclear on boiled egg protocol.

So here it  is...

http://www.recipesource.com/main-dishes/eggs/01/rec0137.html

The Perfect Hard Boiled Egg
 
 Recipe By     : Julia Child, “The Way to Cook”
 Serving Size  : 1    Preparation Time :0:40
 Categories    : Cheese/Eggs                      Family Recipes
 
   Amount  Measure       Ingredient -- Preparation Method
 --------  ------------  --------------------------------
                         For 1-4 Eggs:
    1      to 4          Eggs
    2      quarts        water -- * see note
                         For 12 Eggs:
   12                    Eggs
    3 1/2  quarts        water -- * see note
                         For 24 Eggs:
   24                    Eggs
    6      quarts        water -- * see note
                         Special Equipment_________________________
                         High (not wide) Saucepan with cover
                         Bowl w/ice cubes & water (large enough to
                         completely cover eggs)
 
 *note:  water should cover the eggs by 1 inch, so use a tall pan, and limit
 cooking to 2 dozen eggs at a time.
 
 1.  Lay the eggs in the pan and add the amount of cold water specified.  Set
 over high heat and bring just to the boil; remove from heat, cover the pan,
 and let sit exactly 17 minutes.
 
 2.  When the time is up, transfer the eggs to the bowl of ice cubes and
 water.  Chill for 2 minutes while bringing the cooking water to the boil
 again.  (This 2 minute chilling shrinks the body of the egg from the shell.)
 
 3.  Transfer the eggs (6 at a time only) to the boiling water, bring to the
 boil again, and let boil for 10 seconds - this expands the shell from the
 egg.   Remove eggs, and place back into the ice water.
 
 
 Chilling the eggs promptly after each step prevents that dark line from
 forming, and if time allows, leave the eggs in the ice water after the last
 step for 15 to 20 minutes.  Chilled eggs are easier to peel, as well.
 
 The peeled eggs will keep perfectly in the refrigerator, submerged in water
 in an uncovered container, for 2 to 3 days.
 
                    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
 
 NOTES : The perfect hard boiled egg has a tender white, and a yolk properly
 set.  There is not the faintest darkening of yolk where the white encircles
 it (a chemical reaction caused by too much heat in the cooking process).
 Eggs cooked this way can also be peeled neatly.
 
 The system described here, developed by the Georgia Egg Board,  takes a bit
 of fussing - but it really does produce an absolutely Perfect Hard Boiled Egg!



Honestly.... would you be bothered. Just have tea and toast!

Le Parker Meridian Hotel in New York does a mean eggs benedict, but even meaner is the thousand dollar omlette .. eggtremely decadent but I was almost tempted to give it  a try!
Norma's at Le Parker Meridien  $1,000 omelette.
The $1,000 omelette is so pricey because it contains 10 ounces of sevruga caviar, a whole lobster, and six eggs. According to the latest reports, the hotel has sold eight of these since the dish hit the menu last spring. You can make it at home, if you're cheap - depending on the market price of the caviar and lobster, you'll only spend about $700.
  Read more: http://www.slashfood.com/2005/11/07/the-thousand-dollar-omelette-at-le-parker-meridien/#ixzz1PJT49zGR

Don't get me started on poached eggs at home, fecking nightmare! trying to swirl the water and then discovering you don't have any white vinegar so you use balsamic with turns the egg bits (when it invariable disintegrates) into a swirling mess of brown rotten!

No, I have decided.
The safest way to eat eggs without a shadow of a doubt is at the cinema.....
Pick and mix your heart out!

And remember..."an egg a day is OK!"